diff options
| -rw-r--r-- | nfsw/junk/nymphomaniac/door-opens | 16 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | nfsw/junk/nymphomaniac/intro | 68 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | nfsw/scenes.py | 116 |
3 files changed, 199 insertions, 1 deletions
diff --git a/nfsw/junk/nymphomaniac/door-opens b/nfsw/junk/nymphomaniac/door-opens new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9942bc --- /dev/null +++ b/nfsw/junk/nymphomaniac/door-opens @@ -0,0 +1,16 @@ +Yep. She leaked. + +The tiny door beneath the screen +cracks and creaks and bursts +into a thousand wooden shards +and dark fluid gushes out of the +tiny opening. + +The fluid fills the floor. The room now reeks +of menstrual fluid. + +You wade under the large screen and through +the tiny opening. + +The tiny opening closes behind you. +In its place a stone wall. diff --git a/nfsw/junk/nymphomaniac/intro b/nfsw/junk/nymphomaniac/intro new file mode 100644 index 0000000..29a0a93 --- /dev/null +++ b/nfsw/junk/nymphomaniac/intro @@ -0,0 +1,68 @@ +You're now inside the building. +It's a dimly lit hall. +It smells of a thousand dead rats. + +You hear the turn of cogs. +Machinery. +Neon perfumes emanate from the +dark corners of the room. + +The hall's smell is now a blend +of the fragrance of a freshly washed +bedspread and stench of dead carcasses. + +You're obviously nauseated. +In panic, you try to run outta the +building. + +Alas! The building's intrance is locked. +Looks like a trap. + +You hear clicks. +Flickering. +A large screen manifests +in the middle of the room. +The light from screen illuminates +random crap strewn across the room. + +Two things catches your attention. +The first. +A grotestque painting framed +on the wall to your left. +The painting depicts God whipping +his dear eggplant with Virgin Mary. + +The second object is on the right corner. +No, its not an object. +It's a hunk! +He's naked. Sitting on a couch. +He seems to be transfixed in a eternal +state of orgasmic pleasure. +His large attractive dick looks +like a discolored space rocket +sticking outta his groin. + +And a skinned cat is sitting on the hunk's +stomach sucking his dick. +The hunk seems to be enjoying it. +Weird. + +Well, you abruptly turn your attention to +the screen. It reads: + +"What happens to poor Joe in Nymphomaniac Vol. I + when she sees her dead father in the + hospital?" + +And you see a tiny door beneath the screen. +It's closed though. + +You turn your attention to the hunk. +The cat seems done and pounches to the floor +and disappears into darkness. + +The hunk's face still transfixed with that +same pathetic sexual emotion. +His dick is still thick and straight. +You squint your eyes. +Gosh! The hunk's a water fountain. diff --git a/nfsw/scenes.py b/nfsw/scenes.py index e15081b..3903b61 100644 --- a/nfsw/scenes.py +++ b/nfsw/scenes.py @@ -222,4 +222,118 @@ def garden(o): def nymphomaniac(o): - return 'NYMPH' + r = redis() + + gobbledygook = [ + 'I don\'t have time for your gobbledygook' + '\nCan we just focus on your fucking task' + '\nplease.', + 'Blood starts trickling from the corners' + '\nof the big screen', + 'You feel your gonads spurt and blot' + '\nyour underwear. You sample it with your' + '\nindex finger, smell it and lick it.' + '\nIt\'s blood.' + ] + gobbledygook_hunk = [ + 'Can\'t do nothin\' with hunk.' + '\nBetter luck next time', + 'Next time you try to do anything with the hunk' + '\nI\'m going to force you to eat his dingle berries', + 'Stop your infatuation with the hunk.' + '\nForget his dingle berries.' + '\nEven better.' + '\nI might be forced to feed you the skinned' + '\ncat for lunch today, if you persist.' + ] + + def rj(name): + return read_junk('nymphomaniac/{}'.format(name)) + + + def gg_hunk(): + l = len(gobbledygook_hunk) + + for i in range(0, l): + if r.sismember('scene:nymphomaniac:gg-hunk', i): + continue + + r.sadd('scene:nymphomaniac:gg-hunk', i) + return gobbledygook_hunk[i] + + return '\n'.join([ + 'An invisible hand forces your mouth open', + 'A squishy chunk of the skinned cat\'s', + 'fried meat forces it\'s way through your', + 'mouth, to your esophagus and into your stomach.' + ]) + + + def gg(): + l = len(gobbledygook) + + for i in range(0, l): + if r.sismember('scene:nymphomaniac:gg', i): + continue + + r.sadd('scene:nymphomaniac:gg', i) + return gobbledygook[i] + + return '\n'.join(['For fuck sake answer the question.']) + + + def intro(): + return rj('intro') + + + def hunk_in(q): + if 'hunk' in q: + return True + + if 'water' in q and 'fountain' in q: + return True + + return False + + + def ans_in(q): + if 'vaginal' in q and 'fluid' in q: + return True + + return False + + + def p_done(q): + # Mark scene done + r.sadd('scenes:done', 'nymphomaniac') + + # Move to next scene + r.set('scene', 'nymphomaniac') + + return '\n\n'.join([ + rj('door-opens'), + coitus({'intro': 1}) + ]) + + + def p(q): + if hunk_in(q): + return gg_hunk() + + if ans_in(q): + return p_done(q) + + return gg() + + + if 'intro' in o: + return rj('intro') + + + if 'q' in o: + return p(o['q']) + + +def coitus(o): + return 'Code Coitus' + |