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You skitter towards the bed.
Strip.
Fling yourself on the bed.
Kiss her.
Tongues knot.
She moans.
You rub your lips
Down her throat
Between her mountains
Over her navel and into her clit.
You ravage her with a stunning cunnilingus.
She slams you with her thighs,
Moves forward.
Grabs you by the balls.
Starts sucking your dick.
Then she moves into your arsehole.
First sucks it.
Then forces her pinky into it.
You groan.
You grab her by her rumps.
Flip her towards the bed
and screw into her arsehole 3 times.
She screams with mixture
of consternation and exhilaration.
Then you screw into her vagina 5 times.
CLIMAX!
You fall into her bosom.
Hug.
And both go into deep slumber.
5 hours passes like breeze.

...

You wake up with the start.
The bed is warm and humid.
She's gone.
The candles are waning out.
You feel something inside your
closed fists.
It's a crumpled chit.
It reads "XKCD 592".

You get off the bed.
Put on your raiment.